noblemasculinity.com

A nobleman searches for relationships where he explores and learns about the depths of a woman’s feminine essence. A mistaken ideal of the pop conception of masculinity is one where a man beds as many women as possible. This website is not about moralizing, so I am not going to criticize that in this forum. Everyone has his own path and it is not for me to criticize but that behavior can be a sign of some deep problems. Let me explain . . .

The yin of a woman or her feminine essence is so deep that if you are leading and she is a high quality woman, you will be taken on the ride of your life and the relationship will be breath taking. Men who try to bed as many women as possible are essentially using women to masturbate. Continue Reading »

I was in an interesting predicament Saturday. I was at an event, the last seats available at the lunch table were with a group of French people who did not speak english. I relish being in uncomfortable situations at times and this was one of them. I wasn’t about to sit and not interact so I started making eye contact and nodding with the people at the table.

Smile and confident posture do wonders in situations such as these and I discovered that one of them that did speak english apologized for speaking french and explained that the others did not speak english. I said that I figured that out and not for them to worry. Now was my time to get into the conversation, I hijacked the conversation with my number one rule of interactions. Be interested not interesting.

Continue Reading »

We have already established on this website the importance of action and not just optimism. But now lets deal with whether or not your are a captain of your ship. Napoleon Hill used to decry the idle mind. A non-active mind, one not actively working towards the achievement of a goal is sad. We are noble men, not sad creatures, but happy men living from one goal to another raising people up around us along the way.

One does not have to go backwards to help people, one does not have to sink to bring people up. One can be in control and in the process of achieving worthwhile goals allow others to share in this achievement.

The next goal you write down (you should be thinking on paper) make a separate accounting of how you can provide opportunities for those who might be interested in helping out. Just make sure you are not dependent on these people, they are just invited to come along for the ride. Be self-reliant, do something for yourself all the while providing opportunities for others. Engage the world, you may be the captain of the ship but if you reach the destination without passengers, you are leaving behind very precious cargo.

Suggestion : Go to the Napoleon Hill Foundation and sign up for their daily email. Get some good emails!

Try this exercise and see how you feel after you do it.

Go to Network For Good and make a contribution no matter how small to an organization that you admire.  Click the button that says to make your contribution anonymous and then never tell anyone about it (except perhaps your accountant during tax time).

This is an exercise that will build your self worth and value.  Everyone needs a treasury of deeds that they are proud of, the larger the treasure the easy it is to build a sense of value of your life.

Making another feel good by creating rapport and giving them the space to let them express themselves and then rewarding them for it is another noble deed that creates value.  There are many that I hope to share with you on this website.

This one is easy for you to do and adds a dimension of value to your sense of self that you can start to build on right away plus it creates good karma so to speak.  Go to the website and do it, you will feel different, let it sink in, enjoy your growing self-worth and value and start being the man you know you ought to be.

I love this commercial. Besides being ridiculously funny, more revealing is why we find it humorous. It is unusual to see depictions on TV of a man with great social grace, a man of adventure, and a man of style. It is humorous because it is a classic representation of a James Bond like masculinity that is not often shown. Translate that into a commercial with over the top visuals and situations and you say “Now that is a man!!.” Way to go Dos Equis. Very funny and right on. I have never had Dos Equis but I think I may have to try it:)

Do you think that he cares what women think of him? Do you think he is not authentic with his words and action? A truly authentic man:)!

I have a new role model “The Most Interesting Man in the World.”

I am still laughing at this.

“The pessimist resembles a man who observes with fear and sadness that his wall calendar . . grows thinner with each day. On the other hand, a person who attacks the problems of life actively is like a man who removes each successive leaf from his calendar and files it away neatly and carefully, after having first jotted down a few diary notes on the page.” Viktor E. Frankl (Creator of logotherapy , Nazi concentration camp survivor)

Each day is unique. One must banish fear from every aspect of his life so that each day can be actualized to its full potential. Once you start actualizing things in your life, the satisfaction you receive from this will help to give you the strength to banish some of your insecurities. Maybe you hesitated to talk to that attractive woman sitting next to you at the sushi bar when you really wanted to or failed to make a decisive decision when it was needed or appeased someone rather than be true to yourself thinking it isn’t a big deal. All three are essentially the same thing. Don’t hide in a world of your own creation because when you do, that world will not be one that mixes well with the real world. Each insecurity, each thing you wish you could do, but hesitate to do, has a solution. Often these solutions are just a matter of learning a new skill which you can find resources for.

Activism not optimism (and certainly not pessimism) is the order of everyday!! A saint in his own world does nothing for the world, and an average frustrated chump in his own world is pathetic. Step up and Be the man!!

Required Reading: Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl We all live trying to find meaning in our lives, what we don’t realize often enough is that there are those that have come before us who have experienced things that can help us on this path. Don’t wait, read this book!

“Honor is nothing but the vanity of vanities, which causes a man to defy his own mind and that of his Master and to forget his duty.” Moshe Chaim Luzzato (Italian Jewish Mystic)

In the course of conversation, you will undoubtedly encounter times when a man or woman will heap praise on you. The technique that you must come to believe in sincerely is disqualification. The advantage of this technique is that your preserve your integrity by showing appreciation but then moving to something else. In the mind of your conversational partner, you will be seen even higher than before but will be avoiding vanity at the same time.

For years, I had trouble accepting praise from people. Part of this may have been related to a sense that I felt that I wasn’t worthy or it, and part was because I didn’t want the attention. Now, when I receive praise, I accept and then disqualify it. For example, when I am out, and people find out I am a physician, they often say things like “That is so great your are a doctor.” When you start off saying, “Oh its nothing,” you are alienating your conversational partner, she has just complimented you and you are rebuffing her.

Instead practice the art of disqualification. Say, “Thank you, I really enjoy (being or doing etc) but what really excites me is (doing or being etc)” This way, you accept her praise but move on to something else, it both shifts the conversation in a place you would like to go and it allows you to avoid the pitfalls of honor that can happen when someone internalizes the praise and honor of others. You have a duty being a noble man and it has nothing to do with dwelling on the opinions of others whether negative OR POSITIVE.

This takes practice but try to respond to comments about your achievements by accepting, disqualifying, and then searching out what is special in the person that you are talking to. The problems with honor and praise are when those words swell in the mind of the person, this leads to arrogance and a person staying in their heads. Stay out of your head! Be quick, don’t let those words of praise enter your head and swell. Accept, disqualify, and search for that nugget that makes your conversational partner unique.

In the end you will be maintaining a higher plane of conversation while staying committed to your integrity. This is the proper way to handle praise. Internalize this lesson and make it automatic, practice it always and one of the major pitfills of noble conversation will not be a pitfall but a windfall.

You were born an innocent child.  The beauty of infants is in the new and palpable sense of wonder of what may come and the great potential that they have.  As we grow, somewhere along the line we take on anxieties and guilt for things.  This guilt can damage your self image and make you feel a tremendous amount of self- doubt.

Decide right now that you are going to be a person that can look at the situations of your life and at least forgive yourself for things that you may have done or things that you failed at.  You have to give yourself the permission to fail at things, its ok, and its part of the learning experience.  It is when you retreat from failure and then avoid those situations and enter your comfortable coccoon of an existence that you begin to self-doubt for lack of overcoming those obstacles and retreating from the world.

Comfort is a double edged sword.  The comfort that leads to laziness is the one that must be battled constantly, it will damage your self esteem and lead to self-doubt.  You need a project, a higher mission in life to be a noble man.  The opposite of comfort in this setting is not discomfort, it is sincere striving, it is characterized by an intense positive energy that can fill every aspect of your life but it is not comfort.  As a noble man, you move from goal to goal elevating people along the way.  Stay out of other peoples heads and don’t over analyze people, you are on a mission and have positive work to do.

The great men of history did not stop when failure arose, they looked it as another way NOT to achieve what they were trying to do and hence closer to their goal.  You can adopt this attitude.  I know people who are actually happy when they fail at something because they have so internalized this lesson, that they know that they are closer to the goal they have set than before the failure.

You must engage the world, accept failure as the true recognition that you are on a mission, learn and go at it again.  Do not doubt yourself.  You are new everyday of your life, forgive yourself, if you are fortunate to have today, then yesterday’s lessons can allow you to live a whole new life today, filled with strength, optimism, and belief in yourself.  Be the man!!  Because you owe to it yourself and to the world!!

“He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves.”

“My son, here is the way to get people to like you. Make every person like himself a little better and I promise that he or she will like you very much”

Lord Chesterfield wrote the above in a letter to his son, these letters were then published years later. As you go about your day and life you will inevitably find people who are not living up to their potential. You raise them up by studying them and finding an attribute that is positive, getting them to express it, and then praising them for it. Do not reward them for it before they have expressed it! You may discover this attribute before they express it through observation. Only when they have expressed it should you reward or praise them for it. If you do before that, the person will not feel it to be sincere, even if it is true. This is a very important concept to remember and live by.

Once you recognize that positive attribute, draw it out of them by showing sincere interest in it, and then let them talk and express it through open ended questions, then reward them for it. If they have low self-esteem or for other reasons, it may be difficult to get them to talk about it and you may need to put a little pressure on them by asking them an open ended question and remaining strong and silent and waiting for them to express what you know is true.

Emerson said “Our chief want in life is someone who shall make us do what we can.” Don’t ever be afraid to hold people to high standards! Ultimately, that is what they want! The benefits of doing this are two-fold, you improve the person and even if there is resistance, they will end up respecting you greatly.

The man who possesses noble masculinity is in a never ending exercise of raising people up in the way described by great men like Emerson and Chesterfield. It is through this method that you show your interest in humanity as an active participant and an upholder of noble masculine virtues that enhance your status and improve the lives of others.

Freely adapted and interpreted from the following books.
Recommended Reading:
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters
Positive Imaging : The Powerful Way to Change Your Life by Norman Vincent Peale

Do you know why you strive for the things you desire? Have you analyzed the motivations for goals?

The nobleman’s reasons for any specific goal relate to the reward of actually achieving that goal, never any of its accompanying benefits. The nobleman realizes that noble masculinity requires of one to be honest with himself, we do not delude ourselves by trying to achieve things to make up for a lack of other skills. One doesn’t desire riches because one is deficient in other areas and think that riches will make up for a lack in another realm of your life, to use an example. Examine why you desire the things you do!

Will the achievement of that goal lead to another grander one? If it does not or you can not imagine that it will, you should really re-assess your goals.

Through honest searching of your strengths and weaknesses, the nobleman isolates those deficits that are worthy of correction and makes it a distinct goal to overcome these deficits. He does not overcompensate in one area in order to make up for lack in another. He does not make the mistaken assumption that by achieving in one area it will somehow make up for another.

I know many friends that have spent their lives pursuing money and riches with the notion that this will bring them success with women and lead to happiness. The nobleman works in a different way. If he is unsuccessful with women for example, he will make it a sincere goal to overcome this problem through diligent work and making contacts and learning from those who are successful. A nobleman does not overcompensate for a lack, when a lack is discovered a new goal is formed, if it is deemed important for his constant growth.

The lesson here is that noble masculinity requires of a man to be honest with his defects and strong enough to make a plan to overcome and excel at them.